May 15, 2012


 My prayer for myself these days reads like this  "God keep me focused, guide my steps, grant me the characteristics of you. Bring back my vision. The sight that once was completely clear, that was once able to see what you wanted for my life. Give me clarity and direction."

I used to be a teenager (a short while ago ;) who wanted WHATEVER God had in store for me. 
I had my hopes of what might come someday, but I was ultimately focused on Christ.
Whatever He called me to, I was ready to jump! No fear.
Ever have a time in your life where direction from the Lord is crystal clear? 
Like written in the sky not really kinda clear?! 

That was this time.

And lo' and behold, He gave me a handsome (pastor) man to marry, a quiver full of cute kiddos 
and didn't send me far (like seriously.....45 minutes) from home. 
Apparently I was doing something right!  Right!? 
Crystal clear direction. Confident in God's plan. (If only it were that easy!)

Did I mention I have a lot of kids? Three in three years makes for an exciting (most often LOUD) journey. I have pulled farther away from what God wants for my life and more towards what's convenient and "Mommy-Centered". As a pastor's wife I tend to lean towards effectiveness, what gets the job done, so my hubby can come home to help with the kids..... as a mommy of littles I lean towards whats easy. Both could be summed up with one word....Lazy ;)

I've glazed over this sweet word with titles like...

I don't read my Bible everyday because I am "busy". I don't meet my neighbors because I am "exhausted" after dealing with my kids. I am not really serving because I just feel "stuck", not sure where God wants me.
 Really I am just lazy, lacking passion for Jesus. 
My focus became unclear because Christ wasn't isn't the center of my life most days. 
My husband, my kids, my ministry, my friends...all first. 

God has reminded me in a bazillion ways over the last few weeks that HE wants my heart. He made my heart, He designed me so that I would make much of Him and how can I do that without Him at the center of my day, my life? 

Seems elementary for someone who's known Christ for so long, but it's truth that this momma struggles with. Getting lost in laundry piles, diaper bags, and grocery lists can be so much easier. Much more comfortable and convenient. 

But I remember when life was comfortable not knowing God's plan for my life, but resting in it no matter what. Comfort was uncomfortable but in a good way. 
Exciting, not stuck. 
I want desire that back.

God is up to something in my life and in the life of my family. 
Baby raising and church planting are just a few of them. 
So excited to make much of Him through the process. 
I want to be focused.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will act. 
Psalm 37:4-5

Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings. Psalm 17:8

Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye. Proverbs 7:2

(To be the "apple of the eye" is actually referring to the center of the pupil, the very center point of the eye. To be focused on Christ is to have Him at the center of our eye and our focus. Even more exciting is knowing that we, as children of God, are at the apple of our Father's eye, His plan doesn't stray even when we tend to. God watches over us, cherishes us and protects us for a purpose.)

 Speaking of my cute kids ;) 
I can't get enough of this kid and my new IPhone camera.

I am linking up with The Anderson Crew Today for "Embrace The Camera"

1 comment:

  1. thank you for this post...i feel EXACTLY the same (minus about two kids-haha!) Even with ONE, it is easy to get lost in the day to day. But jesus WANTS to go along that journey with us..if only we'd allow him. I needed to hear this this morning! Love you!!!